Healing Through Connection: The Journey of Afghan Refugees in Maine

In the heart of Lewiston, Maine, a poignant story unfolds as families like the Rahmanis navigate the complexities of resettlement after fleeing the turmoil of Afghanistan. Khadija Rahmani and her family arrived in the United States in January 2023, seeking safety and a fresh start after enduring years of fear under Taliban rule. Their journey, marked by trauma and resilience, highlights the critical role of community support in healing and adaptation.

The Arrival and Initial Struggles

Khadija Rahmani, a former nurse and women’s rights advocate, recalls the harrowing experiences that led her family to leave their home in Herat. “We didn’t sleep all the time; we were scared,” she shares, reflecting on the constant anxiety of living in hiding. The family’s fear was palpable as they witnessed the Taliban’s violent resurgence in 2021, which made Khadija a target due to her advocacy work.

Upon arriving in the U.S., the Rahmani family faced the daunting task of adjusting to a new culture and language. Their youngest son, Mujib Ur Rahman, just 12 years old, struggled significantly with anxiety and post-traumatic stress. Shabana Siddiqui, a health educator and fellow Afghan refugee, has been instrumental in supporting the family through this transition.

The Role of Community Support

Siddiqui, who left Afghanistan in 2022, has dedicated her efforts to helping Afghan refugee families in Maine. Her approach is rooted in empathy and shared experience, allowing her to build rapport with families like the Rahmanis. “You go there as a friend and you build [a] rapport, so they can easily share everything with you,” she explains.

During her visits, Siddiqui provides emotional support and practical guidance to help families cope with the stresses of resettlement. For Mujib, her presence has been a source of comfort. He recalls, “We talk about learning English, my school, and everything.” This connection has helped him begin to heal from the traumas of his past.

Understanding the Impact of Trauma

Research indicates that children who have experienced violence and forced migration are at a heightened risk for mental health issues, including depression and anxiety. Mujib’s experiences at school, where he faced bullying and language barriers, exacerbated his anxiety. Siddiqui recounts a particularly distressing incident when Mujib had a panic attack after being pushed by a bully, highlighting the ongoing challenges he faces.

Khadija, drawing from her professional background, recognizes the signs of trauma in her son. “He gets pale, and his breathing gets hard,” she describes, illustrating the impact of their past experiences on Mujib’s emotional well-being. The Rahmani family’s story is a testament to the long-lasting effects of trauma, particularly for children.

The Double Burden on Parents

While parents can play a crucial role in buffering their children from the effects of trauma, many refugee parents struggle with their own mental health challenges. Khadija and her husband, Mohammad, grapple with the stress of adapting to a new life while managing their own trauma. “My husband and I stay awake until 1:30, 2 or 3 o’clock at night,” Khadija admits, revealing the toll that their past experiences continue to take on their mental health.

Theresa Betancourt, director of the research program on children and adversity at Boston College, emphasizes the importance of supporting parents in refugee communities. “When parents are doing well, they are better able to buffer their kids from the long-term impacts of past trauma and stresses,” she explains. Programs that focus on mental health promotion and positive parenting skills are essential in helping families navigate these challenges.

Building a New Life

As the Rahmani family settles into their new home, they face the everyday stresses of starting afresh. Language barriers complicate their efforts to find employment and integrate into their community. Khadija aspires to work as a nurse in the U.S. but must first achieve fluency in English. “We have to learn the language because we have a hard time not knowing the language,” she states, underscoring the importance of communication in their resettlement journey.

Siddiqui’s support has been invaluable in this regard. She has helped Khadija find a job at a local FedEx facility, connecting her with other Afghan women in the workforce. This sense of community not only provides practical assistance but also fosters a sense of belonging.

The Path to Healing

Mujib’s journey toward healing is ongoing, but the support from Siddiqui and his family is making a difference. He still grapples with homesickness and memories of flying kites in Afghanistan, a pastime he cherished. “The first thing that I miss most is our garden, the rest of my family, my land, my home, and my dog,” he reflects, revealing the deep emotional ties he has to his past.

However, with each visit from Siddiqui, Mujib is learning to navigate his new reality. He is beginning to embrace the opportunities that come with living in the U.S. and has developed a newfound interest in soccer and gym activities. “I like learning English, I like playing soccer, I also like the gym,” he shares, indicating a shift toward a more positive outlook.

Conclusion: A Hopeful Future

The story of the Rahmani family is a powerful reminder of the resilience of the human spirit in the face of adversity. With the support of community members like Shabana Siddiqui, they are not only coping with their past traumas but also building a hopeful future in their new home. As they continue to navigate the complexities of resettlement, the importance of connection, understanding, and support cannot be overstated.

In a world where many refugees face similar challenges, fostering community ties and providing mental health resources are essential steps toward healing and integration. The journey may be long, but with each small victory, families like the Rahmanis are finding their way toward a brighter tomorrow.