The Journey for Gender-Affirming Care: Veronica’s Story

In the heart of Iowa, where sprawling farmland meets the quiet hum of suburban life, 17-year-old Veronica dreams of a future far removed from her small town. “I like chaos and spontaneousness,” she says, a stark contrast to the predictable routine of her life surrounded by matching ranch houses and parked SUVs. For Veronica, the desire to escape is not merely a teenage whim; it is a necessity shaped by her identity as a transgender girl in a state that has recently enacted laws restricting access to gender-affirming care for minors.

A Long Drive for Care

In March 2023, Iowa became one of 26 states to ban gender-affirming care for youth, leaving many families scrambling for alternatives. Veronica and her mother, Emily, found themselves among those affected. In September, they embarked on a nearly four-hour drive from their home in Iowa to a clinic in Minneapolis, Minnesota, where Veronica could continue her treatment. This journey has become a regular part of their lives, a testament to their commitment to Veronica’s well-being in the face of legislative challenges.

The Reality of Growing Up Trans in Iowa

Veronica’s experience as a transgender teenager has been fraught with challenges. At school, she faces a lack of understanding and acceptance, compounded by the absence of supportive policies. Emily has fought to have Veronica’s name changed in the school system, and the struggle to find a safe bathroom option has been a constant source of anxiety. Cruel comments from neighbors and classmates have only added to the emotional toll.

“I never thought, as a mom, ‘I can’t wait for my kid to grow up and leave the state,’ but that’s where I’m at right now,” Emily confesses. The emotional weight of supporting her daughter while navigating societal prejudice is palpable. Emily’s desire for Veronica to find her community and access the healthcare she needs drives their frequent trips to Minnesota.

The Early Morning Routine

On the day of their appointment, the family’s routine begins before dawn. Emily prepares for the long drive, ensuring her younger children are taken care of before she and Veronica set off. The early morning quiet is filled with the sounds of cicadas and the rustling of leaves as they make their way to the interstate. The car ride becomes a space for connection, where they share stories and laughter, a brief respite from the challenges they face.

Veronica recalls the moment she came out to her mother, a pivotal experience that solidified their bond. Emily had sensed her daughter’s identity long before Veronica found the words to express it. “I was kind of just waiting to hear — I wasn’t pushing it, but I just knew,” she reflects.

The Impact of Legislative Changes

The passage of Iowa’s gender-affirming care ban has had profound implications for Veronica’s health. At the time the law took effect, she was receiving puberty blockers, a critical part of her treatment. The ban forced her family to make difficult decisions about her care, as they faced the possibility of Veronica experiencing irreversible changes associated with male puberty.

Emily’s determination to support her daughter is unwavering. “As your mom, I’m going to do everything I can to help you — I love you,” she asserts. The idea that lawmakers are making medical decisions for her family feels fundamentally wrong to her.

The Importance of Gender-Affirming Care

For Veronica, accessing gender-affirming care is not just a medical necessity; it is a lifeline. “Not having access to it just seems terrifying,” she admits. The emotional and psychological benefits of receiving appropriate care have been significant. Since starting hormone therapy, Veronica has reported feeling more at peace with her body, which has also positively impacted her struggle with an eating disorder.

During their visits to the clinic in Minneapolis, Veronica’s doctor emphasizes the importance of individualized care. “The medical piece of gender care is all driven by patient goals and embodiment goals,” he explains. For Veronica, the treatment has led to a newfound sense of happiness and social engagement, a stark contrast to her previous struggles.

The Journey Continues

As they arrive in Minneapolis, the bustling city stands in stark contrast to the quiet of their hometown. After a thorough appointment, Veronica receives her necessary treatments and a prescription refill. The relief is palpable as they prepare for the long drive back home, knowing that they have secured the care Veronica needs for the coming months.

The journey back to Iowa is filled with reflections on the day’s events and the challenges that lie ahead. Emily and Veronica share a sense of accomplishment, knowing that their efforts are paving the way for a brighter future. As they pull into their driveway, Veronica is eager to reconnect with friends, embodying the spirit of youth and resilience.

Conclusion: A Mother’s Love and a Daughter’s Journey

Veronica’s story is emblematic of the struggles faced by many transgender youth in states with restrictive laws. The journey for gender-affirming care is not just a physical one; it is a testament to the love and determination of families navigating a complex landscape. As Emily and Veronica continue to advocate for their rights and well-being, they embody the hope that one day, all transgender individuals will have access to the care they need, regardless of where they live. Their story serves as a reminder of the importance of compassion, understanding, and the unwavering bond between a mother and her child.